So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she woke up with a sticky ear
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
