you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
