Apparently you make a good broom.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
