Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
