He is an equal opportunity slut.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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