at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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