I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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