I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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