I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
