whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize