I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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