Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize