Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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