if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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