So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My vagina just recognized that song.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
