she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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