apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
whose parrot is this?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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