the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
