my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
