just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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