apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
