I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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