Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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