there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
