And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
