Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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