there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
