Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
