At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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