Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You did what with his pubic hair?
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