their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
