singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize