The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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