I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
