i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
