let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
