Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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