Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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