Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
