Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
