the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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