I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
