yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
