I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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