You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dignity is for republicans.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
