Cold hands, warm shart.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
