had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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