Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
