Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize