fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
