The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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