If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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