a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
