did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
