So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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