on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
