My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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