I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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