ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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